Dreams

Let me start by saying that I don't dream a lot. Or, at least, I don't remember it. I just want you to know that before you think I'm some wacko that overanalyzes everything. Anyway, I've had a similar dream going on for about a week. Here's what happens: I'm surrounded by friends. Well, kind of friends. Close acquaintances is more like it. Anyway, rather suddenly, I feel a rip at my back and something shoots out of my back and I see light everywhere and everyone around me falls to the ground. (All of the "acquaintances") I look behind me and sticking out of my back are huge angel wings. The left is dark and shadowy and the right is pure and made of light. As these wings came out of me, everyone, except a few people, fell to the ground. Now, I can name every person that fell and every person that stood strong. Not everyone in my life was there, but there were quite a few. Well, I wondered what this meant, because many of the fallen, I felt, were very close to me. But they fell anyway.

I think this has meaning. The wings symbolize true colors. They are me. The dark and the light. The good and the bad. The ugly and the beautiful. Message being: Always show your true self. Because when it comes time, your true colors will show and some will stand but many will fall. Surround yourself with those you know will always stand.

There have been many people in my life, and recently, who have said they were my friend but they make no effort to be there for me or invite me to hang with them. Don't get me wrong, I tried to be around them, but they were just too busy. I'm sorry, but I'm not going to push myself anymore to be around people who don't give a damn about me. People I used to work with: don't give a damn. Old girlfriends: (they definitely) don't give a damn. Even certain theatre friends: they don't give a damn either. So, don't be fake with me. I see you and what you want. You don't want to be friends, that's cool. Just don't pretend anymore. Ok? I won't symbolically delete our friendship on Facebook, because I'm friends with people I don't know on there, so I can be friends with you there. I'm not hurt, just don't treat me like a charity case or like I'm some menial wannabe. Thanks, but no thanks. I'm not hurt. I'm not mad. Just honest. I hate dishonesty.