Life Is Not Fair

The title kind of says it all but I'm going to spell it out for the people with the silver spoons sticking out of their mouth. Do you know what's not fair? A man who works his entire life to provide for his family and lives paycheck to paycheck while the rich man does nothing and will always be well-to-do. That's not fair. A child has to walk three miles barefoot in a war-torn, poverty-stricken nation to get a basketful of dirty water for him and his four brothers. That's not fair. Life just isn't effing fair and it's pissing me the hell off...

On to my personal life. I work hard on my skill as an actor. I take all the classes and go for all the auditions. Someone comes in that couldn't give a rat's rear-end for acting or the program and is dumber than George Bush, and he gets cast. That's not fair.

I'm loyal. I don't cheat. I'm romantic. I'm pretty good looking. I'm cultured and have good manners. Then, some dickhead comes along and rips a girl's heart out, and then I get her. That's my last few relationships. "Leftovers," I like to call them. They never trust you. Ever. You could be Prince effing Harry, but she won't trust you because of the last douche that wrecked her life.

Dear Douches of the World,

Thank you for ruining girls for the rest of the gd-world.

FU,

Jay

I'm a good guy. I know I am. Maybe too much of a good guy. I get it!!! Wait a second! Girls want these guys! They want bad boys! Why?! HellifIknow! Because they're dumb... They like the feeling of adventure... They like being treated like dirt... Who the hell knows? I give up. They're all nuts.

Dear Women of the World,

You are dumb.

Apologies,

Jay

And you know what else? My father verbally treats me like dirt and slime for most of my life and my mother sits back and lets him. He says he wants a divorce, then the next day, he changes his mind and apologizes. Well, guess what. It's too late. Maybe not for my mother, but sure as hell for me. She decides they can work it out. Well, great. But they both forget that damage was done. The die have been cast. It's too late! I'm done...

PS I long for the day when I emotionally flatline. Then I'll be rich and get all the girls.

Signing off.

Here's what I've been thinking...

I'm kinda wondering where to go in life, as I have wondered since the inception of creative thought. But I've realized it's not what I thought. Since my last post, I "ditched the bitch" in my life and now I'm single. I'm happy. So friggin' happy now! I can't even tell you. It feels good to finally be myself instead of trying to be someone else.

LIFE CREEDO: I will never again change myself for anyone or anything.

In celebration of my newfound life motto, I'm doing something for my 21st birthday that is completely and utterly for me. I'm getting a big tattoo. A big one. It will be on my arm. I've been working on this design for 3 years now and I can't wait to see it on me. Anyway, I was putting off getting it because I was worried what people would think. My recent freedom has caused me to finally wish to be who I am. And guess who I am? I'm a proud owner of a tattoo. Yet. I will be.

I think that for the longest time, I was unhappy because I was trying to be a cookie cutter. A mold of the person I wanted to be instead of was. And it wasn't that I wanted to be that person, but I thought I did. It was such a deep rooted craziness and need to please people. So, I'm officially signing off the crazy-train and setting sail to brighter seas. I will be a force of free-thinking in this small state of Arkansas. I am indeed alone in many of my beliefs here, but I think there are ears here that need to listen. Sometimes, we just have to make due with where we have been placed. I believe it is not mere chance that placed me in po-dunk Arkansas. I do want to move somewhere one day where there'll be people like me, but for now, I have been cast in this play.

Anyway, I'm done for now.

PS Thank you to all the people that asked about me while I was gone. I love you all.