Call me Dreamweaver.

I'm rather nervous about the events that have been unfolding. Not in my own life, but in my dream world. Something is wrong. Very wrong. Just to give a little background on my dreams: I don't have them. I had maybe two dreams a year before about a year ago. I don't know what's going on, but it's weird. Last night is the reason I decided to write this entry.

So, to get a background, I'll let you know some of the dreams up to this point. The other night, I had a dream I was in an old boxing gym, like in the Rocky movies. Suddenly John Candy is sitting beside me smoking a cigar. The funny thing is: I know I'm dreaming and he knows he's dead. We start talking about acting and watching this boxing workout match. Suddenly, I know what he's there for: he's meant to give me advice. I start asking him questions on life and love and happiness, and he, surprisingly, gives me good answers.

Anyway, last night, I dreamed I was in bed and I look out the window and I see a beautiful day, then a giant storm cloud comes in slowly and almost sucks the daylight out. It's raining now and all I can see is this dark cloud. I try to tell people to move for the storm and I'm speaking Japanese. After a bit of speaking Japanese, I get drafted into the Peace Corps and sent to Japan to work in a hospital. All these people I'm working with have been working there for years and I have no idea what's going on. I turn a corner and I'm in Africa, and there's all these people bleeding and dying, missing limbs. I jump into action and I just start putting limbs back on people and stopping their pain. In one big jump, I'm on the quad at HSU and the storm from earlier is still there coming at me and no one notices it. Once again, I'm yelling in Japanese. I go to the Peace Corps office and they tell me that I'm AWOL and try to arrest me, but I explain that I have to finish college before going into the Peace Corps...

Then I wake up.

This is just a sample of the dreams I have been experiencing. The shocking part, these aren't even the worst. I don't know what to expect tonight. Or the next night.

Mars or Scotland?

I'm very tired. Not physically tired, but emotionally tired. Lately, it feels like my life is a roller coaster. It seems like every relationship that I've had recently is just trying to crumble. I try to foster a relationship with someone and it falls apart.

Somehow, I mess it up. Badly. I wish that I was somehow like Dr. Manhattan. I could just teleport to Mars whenever I feel like I need a quiet vacation. I'm not good with people. Really. Sometimes, I seem like the master with a huge ego, but, really, I'm not either one. I know this is the more depressing of my entries, but I need this.

I was thinking about getting out. When I say "out," I don't know where. But I need out. I'm talking like either out-of-state, or even out-of-country. I now realize why I left the country every Spring; I needed a break from people.

I also wish I was like every other male and could just use people and shrug it off. As much as I need a break from people, I find that I can't survive without frequent human contact. It's a catch-22, if you will. If I were like every other male, I could just use women for a bit, then jump to another. But I wouldn't be able to do that. I would feel like a cheap, dirty person.

Well, here goes the giant catch-22 that is my life. But I need a vacation... Maybe Scotland...

WTF Supreme Court?!

I just found out about a recent Supreme Court decision that upset me very much. Basically, what happened is the Supreme Court repealed the decision to hinder large corporations from paying money into politics.

For those who support the upheaval, they say that the 1st Amendment was upheld. It's the company's right to support whoever they want.

For those like me who disagree with this decision, I believe that this rapes the purity of politics. Granted, politics isn't an innocent school girl, but it's not damned as it is now. Basically, corporations will be able to buy candidates and their votes. Let me say this however, in its purest form, corporations will have no say in what they do. Let's be honest, if someone gave me $1,000,000, I would get a body wax and tattoo my body in their name... So, the question this proposes is this: Will this further demoralize this already depleted political system?

My answer: Yes.

"Beeeeee Yourself!"

Let me start with this: I watch Scrubs. Actually, that's an understatement. I love, love Scrubs. I have all eight seasons on DVD. One of the many reasons I like it (and there are a few), is the fact that J.D. and I are so close in personality. One way that we are the most alike is our self-destructive way. Everytime J.D., or I, is in a relationship, we begin to tear at it and try to find something wrong.

For instance, everytime J.D. would get together with Elliot, he would continually find something wrong with her, and then they'd break up and he'd idolize her again. Well, just yesterday, I was actually thinking to myself, "There's no way this could work. I'm not cool enough. I'm not pretty enough. Something must be wrong with her if she likes me..." Stuff like that. I told my awesome roommate what was going through my head and he just kept telling me I was being ridiculous. That's when I remembered my similarity to J.D. and I'm not going to let it get me this time.

If something is obviously wrong, then I'll address it, but I won't destroy myself. Nor will I let myself fail or feel insecure. I'll just be myself. In the words of Genie from Aladdin, "Beeeeeee yourself!"

The Begin of the Search for the Window

Here I am, once again...

Today, a major door closed in my life. A door that I thought would never close. Well, it closed, but that was the problem. It closed. Then opened. Repeat. I got tired of it. I felt used, like I wasn't important at all. Finally, I just resigned myself to mis-matched destinies and said goodbye. If this... "door" was so interested in me, why did it see other "doors?"

Well, life goes on. I have to get over it. It's done. Long day, and I'm tired. I'll be fine, because I have a window. That window is there if the door is ever closed. Sometimes, people are so focused on the door being closed that they miss out on the window. Well, not me. I'm going for the window, whatever it may be...

PS I tried to be obscure.

I've been thinking a lot about it, and I want a posse. A posse is a group of people fulfilling different roles and responsibilities. For instance, I want a personal assistant. Just today, I forgot that I have a paper due Friday. I haven't started and I still have reading and analyzing to do tomorrow.

I also want a stalker. Not really a "stalker" in the classic sense of the word, but more like a person that is my biggest fan.

I would also like a lifecoach. I'll go to them and say, "Boy. I wish I knew what to do in this situation." And they would say, "I have an answer!" And I would pay them.

After them, I would get a cholo. A cholo is a Mexican gangster. Frankly, this guy isn't necessary, but he'll make the whole group a little more awesome.

Then to bring an aesthetic to my posse, I would hire a personal designer to dress me. He can also function as the scent guy; giving me a new awesome scent every hour.

Oh, and a dietitian and trainer. Maybe a voice coach...

You know what, let me just get a wife...

PS This is satirical.

The End

General Rants and Raves

There I was driving, and I get cut off. What the hell? I hate getting cut off because I have what they call "road rage." Arkansas people do not, I repeat, do not know how to drive. At all. They don't understand the "zipper" either. It's when you're merging, one car lets one car in. Then someone that doesn't understand will just come right in... I'm not the traffic Jesus. I don't just give love. And the fast lane is made for people going fast. Making sense?

Speaking of road rage... everyone has road rage. If they say they don't, they're lying. Driving turns the sweetest person in the world into a maniac. It's true. Don't debate it.

Speaking of stupid... The other day, an 8-year-old is stopped by TSA and patted down because his name is the same as a suspected terrorist. What's even worse is that he was first patted down at the age of two. This family went to the Bahamas and almost wasn't let back in the country because of their son's name. And it's not like Mohammad or Habib or something foreign and terroristy. It's Mike Higgins or something like that. Another thing, I'm tired of all this "Let's stop terrorists without being racist." Hell with that. 80-year-old women don't need patting down. I mean, I'm not expert but I'd pick the guy that's Arabic. That's what Norway does. Why not America? We're just as awesome.

Another thing I want to rant on: The Big Mac Wrap. What is that? It's some BS attempt to make people feel better about eating something that will give them fatness. It's not the bun that will make you large, nor anything else on it. It's eating more and more of them. At least the bun will make you full. So, you'll eat more in the end. The commercials show you that cool, muscled guy eating the wrap. Guys don't eat wraps! What?! No...

Coke and Pepsi. Pepsi and Coke. Not interchangeable.

"What would you like to drink?"

"Coke."

"Pepsi ok?"

"...I guess. Foreign money ok?"

Nobody likes Pepsi. It's a common fact! They taste completely different. That's like not having blood for a blood transfusion, and they say, "Will Pepsi be ok?" No, it will not be ok...

Since I'm on a roll and I haven't posted in a bit... Old guys making action movies is getting... old. Russel Crowe(not that I'm complaining), Dennis Quaid, Mel Gipson(I am complaining), John Travolta, and Tom Cruise. They're all making these movies that they made when they were like mid-20s. It's kind of embarrassing. Give it up. It's sad.

Speaking of movies... As a theater major, I have seen, read, analyzed plays. Quite a few of them and I've realized more and more that movies suck. Comedy, for instance, is so downgraded that, they just show boobies and show guys doing stuff drunk. Slap-stick is making a comeback. "Let's hit somebody and watch a fat guy fall! Hahaha..." Dance movies are the worst. They're either about a couple getting together when one of them is rich and the other is poor, or about someone moving to a new place, not fitting in until he, or she, starts a dance team and wins a competition.

One last thing. I'm tire of different sports being confused with other types, so I've come up with three divisions. (The very fact that I've analyzed this means I don't play. hehe)

1) Competition Sports: Like football and soccer, etc. To play, you have to have another team or person to play.

2) Exhibition Sports: You show off skills and judges watch you. Cheerleading, dance, BMX, etc.

3) Hunting: Actually, I'm joking. This isn't a sport. It's like the Cowboys playing a 3rd grade flag-football team that don't realize they're playing. They're on "recess" picking flowers when WHAM, the Cowboys tackle them and make a touchdown. I could, maybe, understand if you tracked the deer, but hunters sit in an elevated stand, cover themselves in "Sexy Deer Cologne" and put deer food out. This deer thinks there's a buffet with a hot waitress, and he gets a bullet to the face. I think I could consider this a sport if the hunter was in a loin cloth with a bowie knife tracking down the deer. But they're invisible! All camouflaged out! Woo-hoo. You pulled a trigger. Wanna trophy? Yay, you can do what Christopher Reeves could do.